I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
