I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We're too hungover to prance.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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