She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
