A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
