Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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