Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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