So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
