Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
