glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
