I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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