we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
