Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
