It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
