Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
