Define "chronic" masturbator.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
