Me too!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
