so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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