Your face is a jimmy john
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
