You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize