so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
