i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
