dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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