Redeem this text for a blowjob
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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