His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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