I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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