You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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