Where did you get a picture of my penis
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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