Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
