I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm like, not good at living.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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