i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
