My balls are so social today.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
