nut hugger
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
