I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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