We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
