There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
