buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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