I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my mouth tastes like poor choices
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
