there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
