sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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