I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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