this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
