I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
