I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
