At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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