I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
