When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
