i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
