I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I look better un-naked...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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