my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
