the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
