I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
