she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
How external is "for external use only"?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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