It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize