we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
