i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
