Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
