Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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