she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
