Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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