I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
