He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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