I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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